Social Dilemma-Is It Okay for Your Spouse to Check Your Cell Phone Messages

Our social dilemma today comes from Sophia.  It's interesting because it was something I had to get over when I got together with my sweetie.  Check it out.

Hi Jaime.  My name is Sophia, and I love your social dilemmas.  After hearing so much great advice from your callers, I thought I would try to see if you and they could help me.  This has to do with trust and cell phones.  This is what I mean.  My  husband always wants to check my cell phone to see who I've texted.  It started because sometimes when we were watching TV I would get texts from my friends and I would return the texts.  He always wanted to know what was going on.  So from that, he said, why not just let him see the cell phone.   I asked him if this was a trust thing and he swears it's not, he's just curious.  I'm not doing anything or saying anything, but I do think that I should be able to have some private conversations with my friends.  After all, that's when you can commiserate about your husband with your friends.  It doesn't mean we don't love our husbands, it's just nice to know you're not the only one dealing with a guy who doesn't wash the dishes or leaves the towels on the floor.  He says if I'm not doing anything wrong he should be able to see the phone anytime he wants.    I don't know what to do.  It seems that whatever I say is the wrong thing.  What would you do.  What do you do?  I would love your advice.  Thanks so much Sophia

Sophia, this is a tough one.  I  understand how both of you feel, I really do.  I always wanted to know who my sweetie was texting when we first got together, but then I realized that trust means I shouldn't be worrying about that kind of stuff, so now it's never an issue.  It sounds like it's more his issue.  I'm not quite sure how to talk with him about it though.  Hopefully our gang can help!  Let's give Sophia some good advice!



Young woman spy on husband's cell phone

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