Social Dilemma-Should You Tell Your Coworker's Spouse if He Hits on You?


Today's 98.3 TRY Social Dilemma has to do with a tough work situation. Here's the email from J (she didn't want to give her full name) Hi Jaime. Here's a dilemma. I'm wondering if I did something bad when I was trying to do something good. I went out for drinks with co-workers and I started to feel like a married coworker named James was hitting on me. He was being kind of flirty and touchy, and I was NOT into it. I turned on my phone's voice recorder app though, I always do it when I suspect someone is crossing a line. And it was on when James asked me if I wanted to ‘get out of here.’ I asked ‘to where’ and he said “maybe we could go to my car and listen to some music." And I said "Huh, and what else?" And he kinda stuttered and said that he'd like to get to know me better and spend some time just with me. I was mad that James would try to cheat on his wife, so, I sent an email to James's wife, with that file. I got a reply from her kind of lashing out at me for leading him on and for trying to hurt her by attaching the recording. I really wasn't trying to lead him on, the only reason I was asking leading questions like "to where" and "what else" were to get him to say what he was doing. But I'm questioning whether it was too much to send the actual audio. I feel for her, it must have hurt to hear. Am I a jerk for sending that voice recording? Thanks so much for your help with this Jaime ~ J This is one of those situations where I feel like it's a no win. If you tell the wife, she's mad at you and blames you. If you don't tell the wife, it feels like it's breaking the "girl code" I think I would have tried to tell James' wife but not with the audio file, at least not at first. What would you have done in this situation. Let's help J out. Let me know on the TRY Facebook page.

Photo: Getty Images/Cultura RF


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